Victor Nelson Speaks on Preparing for Life's End

By M. Todd Manuel
FWIS Contributing Writer

One definite thing is that we will all leave this earth sooner or later. How we live in it now matters as long as we are here, but not when we are gone. Our families, experiences, choices, and lives revolve around the infinity of the miracle we call 'life.' The wise live their lives knowing that we can never be sure how long they will last. When we lose a loved one, we are reminded that death comes with life. Some even say that life is simply the transition to death and are essentially the same. We continue spiritually after physical life ends into another realm of eternity. Moreover, although we live life carefully by always planning for its experiences, many fail to prepare for the same experience that we know will meet life at this end: death.

Victor Nelson of Nelson Memorial Gardens is trying to change that part of our community's experience. He aims to help others understand the importance of planning for the event of their departure from this life to the next. As a funeral home director, Victor has spent several years helping families show their final respects to the deceased using his services through Nelson Memorial Gardens.

Victor explains that our existence and continued legacy after that physical existence are shared responsibilities: "What I mean is that every decision that every person in 'our community' has made or continues to make affects the next brother or sister yesterday, today, and tomorrow." His message about how we approach our deaths should be like how we approach living itself—carefully, deliberately, and with intent. That is, there should be consideration of the fact that one needs the help of others to be who they are both during and after life.

Nelson wants the community to know that we do not have to rely on publicly funded or multi-purposed government funds to pay for a proper burial and that we can easily do it ourselves if we take small actions toward preparing for the inevitable. For example, the township offices here in Allen County are occasionally used for burial support. Frequently township trustees grant access to public funds wherever there is a genuine financial need, like homelessness or extreme poverty. However, Victor speaks about how these funds should only be requested as a last resort: "our township offices should not be our means of taking care of our deceased”. “Township funds are set aside for our unfortunate and indigent community. It should never be used as a "plan" to arrange funerals. Although we [Nelson Memorial Gardens] accept township vouchers for direct burial or direct cremation, there are too many generations of families that have turned to our township offices for burial assistance as plan A which tells me that far too many people/families are not prepared," said Nelson.

The fact of the matter is that what Victor is describing is a phenomenon that can be seen across the nation. Unfortunately, many people are unprepared, under-covered, or misinformed about the cost and their ability to prepare for their final arrangements. Victor suggests that our community begin to consider the following:

The decision to make prearrangements for your funeral and burial service is crucial because:

a.) You don't want to leave the financial burden of "YOUR" funeral expense to your loved ones.

b.) Peace of mind for you, knowing that things have been taken care of and that you'll receive

the type of services you want. Also, it takes the guesswork out of it for your family members.

c.) Making these arrangements also gives the next generation a chance to know more intricate

details and accolades in your life that they would not have otherwise known.

d.) One of, if not the most important things, is to put your wishes on paper so that they are carried out, and the funeral home records them. (Victor Nelson, 2023)

These considerations that Victor shares with our community are essential to the continued success of the next generation. As populations grow and economies change, it becomes much more necessary to help each other in times of grief. When preparing for your funeral, the people you are helping will be those loved ones who carry our legacies, and these are the same people who have loved us the most. What better way to express one's appreciation than to remove the financial burden of burying us when we have had a lifetime to prepare for it?

Victor's message about preparedness also teaches us to consider what insurance products cover one's funeral costs. He explains, "Final expense insurance can be put in place in advance of a death to cover final costs of the funeral, burial, medical, or personal expenditures after that person has passed away." He also notes that there are pre—need plans that take care of the essentials and may cover basic but needed arrangements.

Victor ends his message by reminding us that our goal in life is to leave this life the best way we can. In the instance of death, we must prepare if we want our wishes to be honored. That is, "the type of service he/she chooses (burial or cremation), obituary, religious preference, and even a theme for the pre-arranged service if desired," says Nelson. To prepare and plan for final expenses and funeral needs, we can contact a funeral service professional or funeral home that we feel comfortable with. Victor encourages us all to "schedule an

appointment so that you can thoroughly go over the options that are available so you can make rational

decisions that are not made primarily through grief or emotion."

The insight and wisdom that Victor Nelson and his staff share allow us all to focus on what matters the most and how we can prepare for the most preparable thing. We may not know when, but we all know death is inevitable. Fortunately, for many of us, it is preparable also. Victor leaves us with the following resources:

At Nelson Memorial Gardens, Inc. (www.Nelsonmemorialgawe offer many options for pre-planning, such as Traditional and Non-traditional funeral services, memorial and cremation services, and all religious denominations and faith services. In addition, we offer various payment options to prepay for your service as well.

We have partnered with Favored Grace Unlimited, Inc. (www.favoredgracceunlimited.com), a non-for- profit, and its partners, as a way to help bereaved families who have lost a loved one due to suicide, homicide or unexpected death during and after services have been conducted. Favored Grace Unlimited is primarily partner referral based to direct and assist families with aftercare needs catered to each family.

These words from Victor summarize his message: "We have to make sure that the legacies of our people continue to thrive and are never forgotten." Life and death are collective experiences; we should help each other create and leave the legacies they deserve.

Contact info:

Nelson Memorial Gardens, Inc.

1338 Eliza Street

Fort Wayne, Indiana 46803

Phone (260) 422-5577 Fax (260) 422-5544 www.Nelsonmemorialgardens.com nelsonmemorialgardens@yahoo.com

Favored Grace Unlimited, Inc.

P.O. Box 15235

Fort Wayne, Indiana

Phone (260) 600-7063

Fax (260) 624-4361 www.favoredgraceunlimited.com favoredgraceunlimited@gmail.com