UNSCRIPTED: “Gone But Never Forgotten”
Unscripted
By Keith Edmonds
FWIS Contributing Writer
“If you call yourself a leader but you ain't got no followers, then baby, you’re just out for a long walk…”
~Mary Louise Tanner 1921-2022
This piece is very off-script for me as most of my stories are about sports, community members, or topics that I feel would be of particular interest to readers of Fort Wayne Ink Spot. In today’s UNSCRIPTED I want to pay homage to a woman that inspired, admonished, and loved me with the most definitive meaning of unconditional love.
She taught me to appreciate family, value relationships and treat others in the same way that I would want to be treated. She showed me how to shine with the fullest illumination that God intended, and for that, I’m eternally grateful for her presence in my life. Her name is Mary Louise Tanner and with her being my grandmother for 62 of my very fortunate years under her tutelage, I wanted to reflect on what her life of over 101 years meant to me, and take a moment to reflect on a “life well-lived". “Mom, your love for me has far surpassed what I could ever have for myself and hopefully, this piece will allow our readers to see the impact that you made on me and so many, many others.
In my life I’ve had teachers, coaches, pastors, and older family members pour wisdom, guidance, faith, and many other intangible purities’ into my internal hard drive and shape my thinking about how to become the leader that I was destined to be. Though hardship, strife, victory, and defeat were commonplaces for myself. Through it all, I learned valuable lessons that helped us grow and mature into viable people that are contributing to our communities in positive and yes (at times) negative ways. My grandmother was a lady that ruled not necessarily with the proverbial “iron fist” but more so with a lightning rod that jolted us in the directions that she wanted us to go until we were able to make our own decisions and chosen paths of life we would lead. She raised 8 children (9 counting myself) in such a way that we gained a level of “simplified maturity” that many in the city of Champaign, Illinois stood in amazement. The myriad of day-t0-day things that I remember from being with her growing up that apply to my daily walk in life makes me stand in amazement as well.
So where do I begin….
How can I give proper respect and dignity to a woman that changed the lives of so many without making it seem like my remembrance are not tokenisms or shallow in it’s appearance? I guess that I’ll start with the fact that she raised me in such a way that I honored those that she called “friend” and took a hand in assisting (for lack of a better word) her in bringing me up during the turbulent 60’s and 70’s. When forced busing and racial segregation, although prevalent for us, did not touch the fabric of our community, the kids, or dissolve what we “knew to be true” in regards to values, discipline, and just “treating folks right” that was instilled in me by Mary Louise Tanner.
If I listen closely I can hear her shouting... “Keith, did you sweep off the front porch like I told you, and stay out of that d*** cherry tree”! These were words that I heard on a daily (well let me correct that) NOT daily but resonate enough in my mind that to this day these declarations ring true in my head and bring a smile to my face when I think of them. I was blessed to have a grandmother that cared enough about me that she gave me chances to experience things that at the time didn’t realize were golden opportunities to grow and mature into the man that I’ve become today. I grew up with a Boys Club of America (later called the Boys & Girls Club) directly across the street so that was my first experience to be around men that poured into me. This was done in such a way that my “visions of success” were expanded it and lessened my chances to get into trouble simply because my grandmother built relationships with them and they would report back to her if ANY of Ms. Tanners kids showed a even a hint of trouble. (Man, I hated that so much! Lol!)
When I think about how fortunate I was to be around men like (I’ll just use their first names) Walt, Terry, Dave, and Jerry who (though they may not have known it at the time) played pivotal roles in forming positive impressions on how men should carry themselves not only my life, but also for my friends Calvin, Martel, Donnie, Ronnie, and my cousin Byron. My grandmother entrusted them to be gatekeeper’s when I was not in her presence (which wasn’t often). They took me to Chicago Cubs, White Sox, and St. Louis Cardinal games and she even showed me how to pack my OWN lunch which consisted of: 2 bologna sandwiches, (with mustard not mayonnaise) a piece of some type of fruit, chips, and a cold pop wrapped in aluminum foil to keep it cold ALL day!
I’m so proud to share with others the lessons that were taught to me and it’s so ironic that although I thought many of those lessons were old and archaic, I’m so appreciative for her guidance in my life. I can’t even imagine where I would be without her presence and being a “positive motivating force in my life.” Mama Louise, I love and miss you dearly. Your unconditional love has directed my thoughts, guided my principles, and pushed me to be better daily. If I may use this Boyz to Men reference. “Loving you is like food to my soul..