Live A Healthy Full Life

By Raphael D. Bosley, LMHCA

American Actress Glenn Close stated in an interview, “What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation”.

Fulfilling the roles of mental health counselor and advocate, I endorse the notion that more open honest communication surrounding mental health will create a ripple effect that’ll make a positive impact on a global scale. This is why I look forward to Mental Health Awareness Month each year. The whole month of May is dedicated to fighting stigma and providing support to the public through education and advocacy. As a nation, we’ve witnessed the topic of Mental Health move its way from being a kept secret to now being at the forefront of the conversation. Mental health (general state of well-being & state of mind) and mental illnesses (something that disrupts your mental state and interrupts how you feel, think, communicate and behave) are topics that should no longer be taboo or considered off-limits. If you can’t accept the fact you’re impacted, at least accept that it affects someone you love. The World Health Organization published a shocking statistic that since the COVID-19 pandemic there has been a 25% increase in the prevalence of anxiety and depression worldwide. Another disturbing statistic was released by the International Journal of Health Services; they reported that African American adults are 20% more likely to experience mental health issues than the rest of the population.

Both bone-chilling statistics emphasize that addressing and attending to your mental health isn’t just for people who have a mental illness; it’s for anyone who has a heartbeat. Raising our awareness and taking care of ourselves and our mental health is essential to living a healthy, full life.

As a mental health counselor, I often have a front-row view of the destruction of not properly attending to your mental health and the effect mental illness has on an individual’s (and their family’s) life. As a result, it’s been a personal mission to raise mental health awareness and connect individuals/ families to resources that will improve their well-being and current state. As a counselor, mental health is the first area I lean into, with people, because I recognize their mental state directly impacts and influences how they will show up for themselves and others.

Being tasked with the responsibility of managing one’s mental health can feel intimidating and overwhelming when we don’t feel equipped or knowledgeable on what areas of our lives to explore first. The purpose of this article is to jumpstart you on the quest to live a healthier and fuller life; by evaluating three areas that I believe directly influence our mental health experience and performance in life. Managing our mental health responsibly and appropriately insists that we are intentional about being informed of our well-being when it comes to the following three areas: empowerment, enlightenment, and encouragement.

Ask yourself: how empowered do you feel to take on life? How informed are you regarding your mental health? How encouraged do you feel on a day-to-day basis to make an impact personally or socially?

Empowerment.

Dan Millman, Author of the book entitled How Could this happen, wrote “You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you”. The term “empowered” means to give someone the authority or power to do something or make a decision for oneself. In a client’s therapeutic journey, I notice a giant-sized step in the direction of peace when the individual can accept the authority and power to move forward is still theirs. Another pivotal movement is when an individual relinquishes to keep up with any ties to the things that are emotionally or psychologically eating away at them.

{Pause}. Ask yourself, “What am I holding on to that is holding me back”?

Is it regret, hate, pain, fear, anger, etc.? If so, you have the power today to let it go. You’re not powerless you’re empowered to make the move that leads you to healthy, full life.

Yes, it’s challenging to believe this when there are unhealed trauma, mental illnesses, and key moments that were processed in an unhealthy and disempowering way living in your mind. Tough times and open wounds can lead you to believe that there is an outside variable that controls your race towards emotional freedom.

Listen closely, what you haven’t received yet isn’t what has kept you hostage- your belief that you needed that to move forward is what has kept you paralyzed. You have the power and you must hold on to that with dear life and not give it up (again).

Ask yourself, what can you do today (with your newly realized power) that will propel you closer to that healthier and full life?

Enlightenment

American Author Donald Miller said it best, “in the age of information ignorance is a choice”.

The term “enlighten” means to be freed from ignorance and misinformation. I’ve noticed in my work with men that competence and confidence oftentimes controls the thermostat for personal self-esteem. A key component to both of those is the extent of our knowledge base (how aware and informed we are) on a specific subject. As a counselor, I notice that most people rebuke any moment that introduces them to a part of themselves they haven’t discovered first in private.

To avoid that from happening, I now recommend for individuals to self-evaluate and/or reach out to someone (i.e. friend, mentor, or therapist) who will give honest constructive feedback (at least quarterly).

For starters, prioritize improving your awareness of these three areas: your mental/emotional health, your inner dialogue (self-talk), and the dead-weight (people, places, and/or things that life would be lighter and healthier without).

In addition to self-evaluation, learning and understanding what you have to accept are essential as well. One of the most enlightening lessons that I learned from my therapist was “to not make a settlement with life and that nobody is ever summoned to settle for anything less than what they desire or deserve”. Listen. And hear me-despite your mental health or mental illness, you can have and live the life that you want. You don’t have to imitate anyone else or try to find a filter to hide your reality. Your chances to live a healthy, full life increase when you commit to identifying, unlearning, and then separating from any traditions, beliefs, and stigmas that are current barriers to you living your best life.

Ask yourself: What individual in your life can give you honest feedback or enlighten you?

Encouragement

The term “encourage” means to be inspired with courage, spirit, or hope. You must be in company with people and things that encourage and uplift your spirit. This life is filled with many ups & downs which makes staying encouraged a challenging task, at times. I compare the importance of encouragement to an individual like the fuel that’s placed in our car – if there isn’t any inside we won’t be able to go very far. Feeling encouraged is important.

My aim for the next few moments is simply to speak life into you. It’s not a coincidence that you are reading this article. You are needed and wanted. Listen, your illness is not your identity and your past doesn’t steal the promise/plan over your life. Your story will be someone else’s survival guide. So don’t underestimate the hole your absence would leave. You’re important and your story completes the puzzle. There is no one like you- the world needs you healthy and whole.

So accept my invitation to commit to taking charge of your life and your mental health. A disclaimer is that it won’t be a smooth sail and there may be turbulence along this journey. But as one writer penned, “Healing is painful, but I’d rather go through the pain of healing the hurt... than enduring the pain of remaining in the hurt”.

Taking care of ourselves and our mental health is essential to living a healthy, full life. Dr. Noam Shpancer stated “Mental health…is not a destination, but a process. It’s about how you drive, not where you’re going.” Make sure you put yourself in the best position possible to drive safely. This article is not a substitute for therapy, but merely an encouragement for you to inquire about fitting therapy into your routine, as you live out this life.

You don’t have to do it alone. Some professionals specialize in walking alongside you in identifying and developing healthy next steps for you to live the peaceful and prosperous life you deserve. They can assist you with identifying the faulty beliefs and work with you on reinterpreting your story in a way that empowers you.

If you’re interested in making the next step and connecting with a mental health professional. Indiana (Fort Wayne specifically) is privileged to have a pool of competent therapists. A place, in particular, that is culturally competent is Courageous Healing Inc.; you can call directly at (260) 255-3514 or visit the website https://www.courageoushealing.org/. Another option is to visit the following website: psychologytoday.com and browse through a list of therapists in your area.

Another useful tool is to take a mental health test that determines whether you are experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition. Website: https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/.

Feel free to email me any questions or any inquiries regarding this article.

Raphael D. Bosley, LMHCA

Mental Health Counselor

Courageous Healing, INC