For Some Mothers…
Stephanie Burton,
MA, MSEd, LMHCA
Motherhood is one of the most natural, yet transformative aspects of human existence. While this is true, it doesn’t always feel instantly natural for all mothers. The perinatal period (pregnancy, and up to a year postpartum, or post-adoption) can bring about significant mental and emotional challenges. There are some mothers who feel a deep sense of shame and sorrow because they can’t seem to tap into the warm fuzzy feeling everyone says comes with a new baby. Some mothers struggle to bond with their babies, feeling broken and inadequate. Some mothers feel overwhelmed, filled with worry and scary thoughts. Some mothers are grieving from the devastation of infertility challenges, and pregnancy or infant loss. If any of this sounds all-too familiar, please know, you are not alone.
1 in 5 mothers, and 1 in 10 fathers (yes, dads too!) experience perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs). Many people are familiar with the “baby blues,” often using the term interchangeably with “postpartum depression,” but they aren’t the same. The “baby blues” is different from postpartum depression as it typically subsides within the first two weeks after birth. Postpartum depression, on the other hand, like other PMADs, persists beyond two weeks, is more severe, and may last months or years postpartum. Other PMADs include Perinatal Anxiety, Perinatal OCD, Perinatal PTSD, Perinatal Bipolar Disorder, Perinatal Grief and Loss, Perinatal Substance Use Disorders and Perinatal Psychosis. PMADs do not discriminate based on race, education, age, or socioeconomic background. Additionally, not having experienced PMADs in a previous pregnancy does not prevent one from experiencing symptoms in future pregnancies.
I am 1 in 5. My daughter is now two years old. I can vividly recall a sweeping wave of sadness and worry within the first 48 hours of birth. I couldn’t even make it through our celebration dinner at the hospital because the tears wouldn’t stop. My husband only had one week of paternity leave. I’d never spent any time alone with a newborn. In the coming weeks, I was mentally, physically and emotionally drained, and sleep deprived. Breastfeeding was a challenge. How in the world was I going to care for a baby? I hardly felt as though my body was mine, let alone my mind. I can’t say I was totally surprised, being I’d had previous experience with anxiety and depression, a byproduct of my PCOS diagnosis, which is a risk factor for PMADs. There were days I wailed, and I probably cried enough tears to fill the mini fridge I couldn’t seem to keep stocked with breastmilk. At times, I became enraged, and self-doubt set in. Was I fit to be a mother? Was I fit to be a mental health therapist? I thought my daughter, and everyone else, might be better off without me. There had come a point, as I was approaching my second month postpartum where I knew I needed professional help, so I talked with my doctor. A combination of medication, support from my amazing husband, and the mustard seed faith I’d managed to hold onto saved my life. From there, the fog began to lift. There are days I think back on that time, and I feel robbed by postpartum depression and anxiety.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, which coincides with Maternal Mental Health Month. Ironically, it personally marks the anniversary of the day I graduated with a degree in counseling, and the day I became a mother. I graduated on a Wednesday, and gave birth that Friday. While I learned a great deal about the treatment of mental health diagnoses in graduate school, it was my own experience with postpartum depression and anxiety that was the catalyst for my desire to serve other mothers, and to deepen my knowledge of maternal mental health. Surprisingly enough, PMADs are not extensively covered in most counseling graduate programs.
If you’re wondering if these are some newly made up phenomena, extensive research and knowledge about PMADs has only emerged within the past 5-10 years. We still need more. PMADs, however, have been experienced by mothers for as long as pregnancies have occurred, they’ve just been under-diagnosed, and under-treated. The history of caring for mothers, particularly Black mothers, within the American healthcare system is very telling as to how we got here. The father of modern obstetrics and gynecology, J. Marion Sims, used the bodies of enslaved Black women to perform dangerous surgical experiments without anesthesia. Black enslaved mothers were wet nurses, required to feed the White children of the slave owner before feeding their own children. Mothers who exhibited symptoms of what we know as PMADs were often written off as “hysterical.” They weren’t even seen as fully human. Currently, Black mothers are impacted by PMADs at a higher rate than White mothers due to the pervasiveness of systemic racism, further contributing to the already alarming Black maternal mortality rates across this country.
PMADs are highly treatable, and there are ways to prevent symptoms from worsening, such as traditional talk therapy, medication and having a supportive village. Part of the Black American experience is the collectivist nature in which we engage the community. It’s one of the many things that we brought with us across the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade, from the continent of Africa. Keeping that in mind, it is already embedded in our DNA to build sustainable support systems. It is of the utmost importance that we all equip ourselves with the knowledge of what to look for and how to get help for families facing PMADs.
Motherhood is foundational to society. In order to have stronger communities and families, we must support and empower mothers.
To learn more about the symptoms, risk factors, treatment and to find support for PMADs visit www.postpartum.net. If you, or someone you know needs help, some local resources include Courageous Healing, Inc., Healthier Moms and Babies, and Mission Motherhood among others. You can also access the National Maternal Mental Healthline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA. If you are having thoughts of suicide, text or dial 9-8-8.